How important is persuasive communication on a scale from 1 to 10? The answer is 10 of course.
Influencing other people is important in every human interaction: when you ask a friend to babysit your child, when you undergo a job interview, or sell a product, etc.
The basis of influence is understanding other people—their needs and wants, their values, and personality—in order to change their perception of the situation. How can you understand another person? Observe, ask open questions, and listen.
My marketing professor told his students, “If you want to know somebody, ask them what they like.” It is particularly effective when flirting with a person.
Once you have a better understanding of the other person, you can also apply some principles of influence, that is, some psychological mechanisms. Professor Robert Cialdini identified six principles of persuasion which are listed below.
- Reciprocity: If you do a favor or give a gift to somebody, they will feel obliged to return the favor or buy you a gift. Other examples are free samples of a product, or free trial lessons.
- Commitment and consistency: People who make commitments tend to follow through with those commitments. If you tell your coworkers you will finish your piece of the project by a certain time or day, you feel obliged to do it.
- Authority: We tend to respect authority and comply with what they ask us. This is why we see a lot of authoritative or famous testimonials in commercials. For instance, a commercial for toothpaste with a “dentist” (an actor dressed like a dentist) is more likely to be trusted.
- Liking: We prefer to buy from or do favors for people we like. We like our friends, people like us, or simply good-looking people. Why do companies like Tupperware use people who sell to their friends? Because we like our friends, we trust them, and want to help them.
- Social proof: We tend to do what other people around us are doing, especially in uncertain situations. If we see a group of people on the street looking toward the sky, we do the same. If we see many people in a club, we want to go there too. If you are uncertain about buying an insurance policy, the salesperson tells you that thousands of people like you have bought it and are satisfied. Amazon uses this principle in descriptions such as “most sold book”, or “customers who bought this item also bought…”
- Scarcity: If we think something is going to run out, we want it. If something is rare, we think it is valuable. Salespeople often say, “This is the last pair of shoes”, “This offer is valid only today”, or thinking of travel websites, “Last room available.”
In sum, to influence other people you need to observe, listen, and use some basic persuasion principles. Being aware of how influence works is also useful in managing those situations in which somebody else is trying to persuade you.
Dr. Andrea Miriello
Business Psychologist
Consultant, Business Coach, and Trainer